


The Cupboard of Complications

by zoicite



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-23
Updated: 2011-04-23
Packaged: 2017-10-18 14:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoicite/pseuds/zoicite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It figured that the Doctor would wait until they were locked in a dark cupboard to start in on something like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cupboard of Complications

The cupboard – or Donna assumed it was a cupboard, you never could tell with small rooms on some of these planets – was dark. It figured that the Doctor would wait until they were locked in a dark cupboard to start in on something like this.

"I think we've lost them at least." He was trying to change the subject. He also seemed to be searching around in his pockets. His elbow was poking her side every time he moved.

"A mate," Donna grumbled, not letting him get away with it that easily. "'Oh Donna, I just want a mate. A pal.' Yeah, right. A pal to shag's more like."

"I was trying to help!" The Doctor protested a little too loudly. Donna nudged him in the side. The last thing they needed was to be found.

"We've been running from your friends out there - _hiding_ \- and _that's_ how you want to help? Sex? In a foreign broom cupboard surrounded by those bubble headed things?"

"They used to be friendly," the Doctor said, puzzled. "How was I to know they'd turned hostile?"

"Oh, I don't know," Donna hissed. "Maybe because everything was perfectly fine on Planet Bubble Head until you told them who you were and they went batty. What did you do to them? Did you try to shag them too?"

"No," the Doctor snapped. "I don't know what – it must not have happened yet."

"Well, thank you, Future You. What do we do now?"

She felt the Doctor shrug beside her. "The Globaparaxes have short term memory loss. They should forget we're in here. Shortly."

"Short term memory loss? How short? They seemed to remember you well enough."

"They remember my _name_ ," the Doctor clarified. "They remember 'The Doctor'. Their memory loss is strictly visual. In time they'll forget what I look like entirely."

"In time," Donna repeated. The Doctor started moving around again, feeling the walls. His head knocked into hers, hard and before he even had a chance to apologize, he stepped on her foot.

"It's a bit tight, isn't it?" he asked. She supposed it was the best she could hope for at this point.

"How much time?"

**

She probably should have known to keep her mouth shut, but frankly, holding her tongue had never been one of her strong points. And this was the Doctor. She felt like she'd known him forever. They'd just spent a week on some planet in the Moltept Galaxy with a broken TARDIS and a race of perfectly proportioned purple breasted aliens. If she hadn't been the one to break off that rusty old lever, she would have thought he'd stranded them there on purpose.

Months with the Doctor and a week of that and then they were back on the TARDIS and the Doctor was babbling about some planet with floating islands of fruit trees and a pygmy race of hyper-intelligent bird people. It was no wonder all she could think about was Ronald.

"Oh," Donna groaned. "Bird people? That sounds awful. Can't we go to the planet of the perfect pecs? The planet of the splendid male specimen? Purple breasted goddesses and now bird people." She'd never been a big bird fan.

"Everyone is impressed by the bird people," the Doctor insisted. "Well, bird people isn't really fair. They have beaks and wings, yeah, but they look nothing like birds. They're genius, really. Planet of the what?"

"Pecs," Donna repeated. "Perfect pecs. Or we could just pop home. I really should see Ronald about –"

"Ronald? Perfect pecs?" The Doctor cut in. "Male speci - Who's – oh. Oh. Okay, I know just the place for you."

Turned out the place was the Avedane, some godforsaken valley on the southern hemisphere of the 78th planet in the Cirrec Circle. The valley was quite pretty, really, not godforsaken at all. The locals were, well, some sort of creature made out of –

"Bubbles?" Donna asked, just as the Doctor shook his head. "Fleshy bubbles?" The bird people were looking better and better.

"I say I want to see Ronald and you take me to the land of the bubble heads?" She said it quietly. There was no need to offend anyone but the Doctor. If there was one thing she'd learned, it was that there was no need to _intentionally_ start trouble on these excursions.

"We're just stopping in for tea," the Doctor assured her. "Relax."

She tried to. She did. And it was working. She'd already come to see that the bubble heads – or Globaparaxes, according to the Doctor – were charming and actually somewhat adorable. She was as relaxed as she could be on these trips that so often turned dangerous. This one seemed quite nice, the weather was perfect, and the surroundings were kind of quaint. It really _was_ lovely until the Doctor approached one of the bubble heads and introduced himself by name. That was when the relaxing stopped and the running for their lives started.

**

It wasn't until he locked them into a cupboard with that sonic screwdriver of his that things suddenly started to become lewd.

"In a cupboard of all places," Donna said again, amazed.

"What's wrong with a cupboard? I spend a lot of time hiding in cupboards," the Doctor defended.

"Of course you do."

"I was thinking of you," the Doctor insisted.

"Thinking of me?!"

"You wanted to go to the Planet of the Pecs!"

"Yes," Donna agreed. "And you brought me here."

"You wanted to visit Ronald," the Doctor insisted.

"And you brought me here," Donna repeated. "Locked. In a cupboard. With an alien who I'm pretty sure doesn't _have_ pecs."

"Hey, now," the Doctor sniffed. "Ronald. Perfect pecs. What was I supposed to think. I was sure you were –"

"Randy? In need of relief? Lusting after you?"

"Well, clearly not that last part," the Doctor grunted.

"How long now?" Donna asked. It felt like it'd been an eternity.

The Doctor hummed for a moment, perhaps calculating in his head. "An hour more should do it, I think."

"An hour?" Donna repeated. "Seriously?"

**

It was quickly becoming the longest hour of her life. She was tired of standing and there wasn't enough room for them to sit on the floor. The Doctor kept trying to start conversation, but couldn't actually come up with anything worth conversing about other than the inner workings of the bubble head brain. Donna wasn't interested.

"All this for a cup of tea," the Doctor mused eventually.

"You weren't joking around?" Donna asked. "We came here for tea?"

"Euphoria Tea," the Doctor amended quickly. "The 78th planet of the Cirric Circle is the leading producer of Euphoria Tea. It's banned on New Earth, you know."

"New Earth?" Donna asked. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what was so new about it. "Why?"

"Oh, the tea creates a sense of euphoria for those who drink it. It's the Danorganta flower that grows most prominently here in the Avedane. The tea is –"

"It's orgasm tea?" Donna interrupted. "You brought me here for orgasm tea."

"I thought –"

"Oh, I _know_ what you thought."

Twenty minutes passed in relative silence before the Doctor became antsy again, shifting his weight from foot to foot. There must have been something on the floor. Donna knew he tripped, an accident, but when his hands landed on her breast she said "You've got to be kidding me," anyway.

"Sorry," the Doctor said, flustered. He tried to pull away hastily and ended up fondling her more.

"Hands off," Donna snapped and pushed him away.

**

"Who's Ronald anyway?" The Doctor asked. He was poking around with his screwdriver in an electrical box that he'd found while feeling about on the walls. He didn't seem to have an actual plan, was just looking to pass the time. The electrical box just happened to be the only thing of interest that he could reach. He'd tried to pick up a few things from the floor, but there wasn't enough room without becoming uncomfortably close, and Donna put an end to that right then and there.

"My boyfriend," Donna shrugged.

The Doctor took the screwdriver from between his teeth and turned to look at her. They could actually see one another now in that blue glow.

"Your boyfriend?"

"Maybe not boyfriend. We were seeing each other. Had been for six months. It wasn't that serious. I think I was using him to get back at Lance, you know? Not that Lance would ever know. But Ronald was nice. He was nice to me, and then I found you, told him I was going on another holiday, and just left. He didn't deserve that."

"So you wanted to go –"

"Apologize to him, break up, something," Donna said. "I'm not going to be around Chiswick much anymore, am I? It's not fair to let him keep his life on hold."

The Doctor thought about this for a moment and shrugged.

"My mother would kill me if she knew," Donna smiled. "She thinks I'm wasting away into some old spinster. She's probably right."

"Well," the Doctor said. "At least you're a spinster who saves the world."

"Thanks."

The Doctor's face becomes serious again in the blue light. "You know, we might actually be good together, you and I. Stranger things have happened to me."

"What?"

"We are good together," the Doctor said. "We're good together now. But you know, with Ronald cut loose –"

"Shut up," Donna laughed. "You're awful, you know that."

"I'm being genuine," the Doctor protested, but there was a glint in his eye that kept Donna smiling.

She rolled her eyes. "900 year old Time Lord, one misunderstanding, and suddenly it's all he can think about. Typical."

"Yeah," the Doctor agreed with a grin. "Nothing good down that road, right?"

"I doubt it," Donna agreed.

The Doctor had stopped smiling, was just watching her in the dim light from the screwdriver. "You're amazing, Donna Noble. You know that, right?"

Donna could feel herself blush and hoped that the Doctor couldn't tell in the light. He'd probably been able to see the entire time for all she knew. There was no telling with aliens. She wasn't doing anything awesome at the moment. She was just standing there. In a cupboard. Still, she knew it was easier – in character – to just agree with him. "Yeah," she said and smiled. After all, sometimes she actually _was_ amazing.

"I –" the Doctor started, and Donna looked up at him. She was surprised to discover that she was actually a little scared of what he might say next. He had that look. That sad giant brown-eyed look that she'd seen before when he was talking about Gallifrey or the things he wished he'd been able to say to Martha. The look that he got when she convinced him to talk about Rose.

"Go on," Donna prodded.

"I – think it's been about an hour, don't you? Time we check on our friends!" The Doctor announced and flashed her a giant blue toothy grin before throwing open the cupboard door.

**

The bubble heads – Globaparaxes – smiled at them curiously as they walked by. A few looked like they were searching for something and before Donna could stop him, the Doctor approached.

"Hello!" The Doctor peered at the badge on the chest of the larger Globaparaxe. "Valglobe," he said. "I like it. Nice to meet you, Valglobe."

"Hello," The bubble head repeated. It seemed to be looking for the Doctor's name badge.

"Oh, of course! John," the Doctor introduced himself. "Smith. And this – " he gestured toward Donna and then with a sigh of exasperation, pulled her out from behind him. "This is Jane. Uh, Smith. Née Doe."

"We're not married," Donna clarified. "Different Smith. Um. Jim. Jim Smith's my husband."

"Oh? Thought you said his name was Ronald. Anyway, moving on. Valglobe, Ms. Doe-Smith and I were just discussing. It appears that you've lost something." He turned back to wink at Donna, so sure of himself. She scowled, and prepared to run. She wasn't entirely sure that she believed this visual memory loss thing. She'd noticed that they had signs on everything, sure, but it seemed unlikely that –

"We're searching for an enemy," Valglobe said. "The Doctor."

"Oh? I thought the Doctor and the Globaparaxes were allied."

"The Doctor blew up the plants." Valglobe did not seem amused. "Not allied after that."

"Blew up some flowers?" Donna asked. "Why would –"

"The factory," the Doctor corrected. He turned back to the Globaparaxes. "Huh. That's not very nice, is it? Is that the end of tea exports from the Avedane, then?"

Valglobe seemed to shrug. "We have built a new plant. There is plenty of tea for you and your wife."

Donna and the Doctor followed as the Globaparaxes navigated to the plant based on a series of carefully laid out signs. She didn't understand how a species could flourish like this if they couldn't even remember where they were going without a sign to get them there. What if they ended up somewhere without any signs? What did they do then? Roam around aimlessly for the rest of their lives? It seemed a pretty screwed up biology to her.

**

Once they'd finally made it back to the TARDIS (which they found by following the newly erected signs directing them to 'blue box'), the Doctor pulled two cups from his pocket and set them on the console. "That was certainly more eventful than anticipated, wasn't it? I told you they were friendly though. Well, as long as you say the right things. I've heard they can hold a grudge forever."

Donna was carrying the warm pot of tea. She began pouring it in the glasses. "This smells fantastic," she admitted. "But how can they survive? What does Valglobe do if he gets lost?"

"Oh, instinct will eventually get him back to the Avedane. Somewhere deep in his subconscious he'll remember the way. Eventually, had we stayed long enough, he probably would have figured out who I was too. Good thing we left when we did then, eh? Still, I'm interested to discover what was happening in that factory to force me to blow it up."

"Maybe it was an accident," Donna suggested. "Or perhaps it wasn't, in which case – should we really be drinking this?"

"Oh, I'm sure it's fine," the Doctor assured her. "Nothing to worry about."

Donna finished pouring and set the pot on the console. She'd often thought that the Doctor should invest in a table of some sort. He could bolt it to the floor. It seemed inevitable that something was eventually going to spill, and she'd rather not spend another week stranded with a short-circuited TARDIS.

"Don't spill," she warned.

"It's not every day that I stop by a planet for tea to quench a miscommunication, spend two hours being berated in a cupboard, and then walk out of it as though nothing – I'm sorry for the Ronald confusion," the Doctor blurted. "I really am."

"Oh," Donna said. "Yeah. It's all right. Really."

"You're just being awfully quiet. It's been all short sentences since we – well, quiet for you, I mean, and I really didn't mean offense."

"Oh, stop apologizing," Donna insisted. "It's not your fault I'm irresistible, is it?"

The Doctor laughed. "Well –"

"I don't want to be your Rose replacement," Donna said so abruptly that her hand flew up to cover her mouth as soon as the words were out.

"I don't want to replace Rose," the Doctor blinked. "Anyway, you and Rose, you're nothing alike. Completely different humans."

It could have been a compliment or an insult. Donna knew that it wasn't either. Different didn't always mean better or worse.

"Good," Donna said eventually. "As long as we understand each other."

The Doctor nodded and looked into his tea. Looked everywhere but at her.

Donna wasn't entirely sure why they were discussing this. Of course she wouldn't and couldn't replace Rose – or Martha for that matter. There was no reason why she would ever want to try. They both already knew that. there was nothing to discuss.

The Doctor was watching her again now with that same lost look he'd had in the cupboard. She should never have brought up Rose.

"Stop it," she said.

He looked like a scrawny puppy hoping for – something. Donna was torn between wanting to hug him and insisting that he snap out of it. Currently, the urge to hug was winning out. Donna stared down into her tea. She inhaled the flowery scent and briefly thought about what it _would_ be like. If the Doctor was right when he said that they could be good together. She thought of the Doctor's endless energy, all of that passion focused on her. She wondered what a first kiss would be like. She thought about her first kiss with Ronald, how soft and gentle he was with her. Truth be told, Ronald was not a man with perfect pecs. He was doughy around the middle, an adorable teddy bear of a man. He treated her better than Lance ever had. She wondered if the Doctor's kiss could be as careful as Ronald's.

She knew it was the tea going to her head. She knew that letting it happen could end in something amazing. Letting it happen could also end up with her killed, kidnapped, sucked into some far away dimension never to be heard from again. She knew what could happen to those close to the Doctor.

When she finally looked up, slightly dizzy, he was still watching her. His mouth was set in a line, neither a smile nor a frown.

"Now who's the quiet one?" she asked. And when he didn't answer right away, she panicked a little about what it was that he was seemingly offering. What it could be and how badly it could go wrong.

"Right," Donna said and pushed her cup aside. "I can't drink this with you."

The Doctor seemed to snap out of it then too. "I'm not actually all that thirsty," he agreed.

"No, me neither," Donna laughed. They were good like this. Companionship and support. That was what they really needed from each other. None of the other complications. It was the tea talking. Mostly. She was sure of it.

The Doctor swept the tea and the cups off the console and Donna felt her head begin to clear.

"I can see why that stuff is banned," Donna said. "What were we thinking?'

"Well, banned on New Earth. They've had moods that got out of control before," the Doctor said. "Still, you've got a point. So, moving on then. Where to next? Bird people? They're still genius."

"Ronald's flat," Donna suggested.

The Doctor eyed her. "You're sure. No harm in holding on to him a little longer is there? You might get sick of me next week, you know."

Donna just smiled and braced herself against the console.

The Doctor nodded and grinned. "Ronald's flat it is. Next stop Earth, 21st century. You can give him that tea as a gift. It'll seem nothing next to losing the amazing Donna Noble, but still. Best consolation prize he could ask for. Here we go then!" he said and began pressing buttons.


End file.
